Scariest time of my life!

12.14.2009
Well, it has been about 4 days since our big scare with Brodie and I am now able to talk (and write) about it without breaking into tears. Thursday I was sick and spent most of the day in bed just hanging out with Brodie. My sister Sally called me to talk about our Xmas plans. Brodie had fallen asleep so I went ahead and placed him in the swing to nap while I made my way to the kitchen to clean up as I spoke with my sister. When the conversation was over I went in to check on Brodie.

When I peaked in the room Brodie looked a little off (very pale) and when I got closer I saw that he was a white/gray/chalky color. I immediately placed my finger under his nose to check to see if he was breathing, but I couldn't tell, so I began to rub his tummy to jiggle him. I got no response....so I did it again a little harder - nothing! I picked him up out of the swing and he was completely unresponsive and limp. I had the phone in my hand (from talking with my sister) and called Damon immediately (in retrospect I should have called 911, but I panicked). While talking to him I continued to try to get Brodie to wake up by shouting his name and moving him around. I still couldn't get a response - I even tried lifting his eyelids to get him to open his eyes and he didn't even flinch.

At this point I am truly panicked and I believed that Brodie was dead. I lied him on the couch and unswaddled him, rubbing his tummy and calling his name. His skin had lost all warmth and was cold to the touch. Finally after a few minutes he began to move slowly. He was very lethargic and did not open his eyes for a few more minutes. At this point I was bawling and just so relieved that he was still alive. Damon told me to call the pediatrician and then call him back.

I left a message with the pediatric emergency nurse and called my sister April for support. She suggested I take Brodie to the emergency room to have him checked out. I called Damon and told him this and we both agreed. Damon hurried home. In the meantime the nurse called me back and recommended the same step (as well as my Dad who is also an M.D.). When Damon got home we packed up and headed over to the E.R. Brodie was actually acting like his normal self by this point, but I was a mess. I couldn't stop crying. I had to tell the story like 50 times and every time I did I would remember holding Brodie cold and white and thinking that he was dead. After talking with the doctor they decided to run a battery of tests on our little guy - including blood work, urine tests, chest xray, and a SPINAL TAP : (

They probed and prodded him and stuck him with needles - I continued to cry the whole time. I was so worried about him and hated to see him in pain. My parents happened to be coming up for the weekend that evening and so they headed over to the hospital right away. It was nice to see them and it also allowed Damon and I to go get something to eat after all the tests were run. After several hours we got the results back and were told that everything came back negative (yay!).

Once we were done with the emergency department they moved us upstairs to Children's Acute Care, so that they could monitor Brodie overnight. They hooked him up to a oxygen monitor overnight and checked on him every few hours. Damon had a big day at work the next day, so at about 2 am he headed home for the evening and I stayed with Brodie (there was also only one cot allowed per room - so only one of us was going to stay). Unfortunately, I was still sick and the room was freezing!!! I asked for an extra blanket, but all they had to give me was a few more sheets. I had all my clothes on and a jacket and was still shivering through the night! I woke up the next morning with a worse cough and no voice! : (

We made it through the night without any concerns and in the morning were told that the rest of our test results were negative too and that we would be discharged that day! (double yay!) They said that it may have been an isolated event due to illness or that sometimes babies just forget to breathe (unknown reason for SIDS). They really didn't have an answer for us, but suggested that we continue to monitor him (After being discharged we bought a movement monitor for the crib that notifies you if he stops breathing).

The next morning we had to go to the pediatricians to check in. She did a thorough check up and said that everything looked okay. She made us feel better by informing us that she does see several cases like ours every year and that it can happen for various reasons. She said usually it occurs when the baby is ill and doesn't know how to fight off a virus and so they just shut off and stop breathing. At this point Brodie the only sign that Brodie had of being ill was a low grade fever - but later that afternoon he began to have diarrhea and threw up several times that evening (so this explanation may make the most sense).

Right now Brodie and I are just working on getting healthy. Mommy is finally starting to feel a little better, but poor Brodie still has a low fever and a sour tummy. I am not sure when I'll feel comfortable again with him sleeping - even with the crib monitor. He is currently waking up every hour or two during the night, probably because he is sick and he doesn't like sleeping in the crib (he likes the swing, but the monitor doesn't work in the swing).

All I have to say is that I love this little boy more than I ever thought I could love anyone or anything in this world and I am just so thankful to be able to hold him and love him today! : )

Here are a few pictures from our visit...